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Just in case no one told you today:
- Good morning
- You’re beautiful
- I love you
- Nice butt
50,000 people on the Internet found my joke funny why aren’t you laughing mom
you’ve probably sat next to a boy in class that’s had a boner before
they were sitting next to me of course they had a boner
when the titles of songs arent said in the actual song i get uncomfortable
ive become so used to this that i get uncomfortable when the song title is said in the song
#DOES NATHAN FILLION DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT BE BITTER ABOUT FIREFLY
He has a clause in each of his contracts that demands he gets a line to be bitter about Firefly
one day he’s gonna be in some period piece set in like the 1700s or some shit and he’s still gonna sneak in some line about a play with a crew of pirates whose run got canceled too soon
1. Girls Shalt Not Have Sex.
(someone asked me what the guy word for ‘slut’ is
and I couldn’t find an answer.
it’s an old story: a rumour goes around that so-and-so
blew a boy in the disabled toilets.
the girl fakes a cough to get herself sent home
to escape the classroom-wide hiss of ‘slut’
while the boy she blew walks into the same class
and is greeted by an onslaught of high-fives)
2. Girls Shalt Love Boys.
(when I was ten, there was a movie trailer where two girls
leaned in for a kiss, and I felt sick for the rest of the day.
it took four years
along with faux-casual questions to friends
useless quizzes on the internet
entries in a diary that I later scribbled out
to admit, fine, okay, yes,
and another year after that to say it without mumbling)
3. Girls Shalt Not Be Bitches.
(it took over ten years of school for me to realize
my women teachers got called bitches
for doing things that my male teachers got called efficient for.
we were assigned to a group project in science class
and whenever my friend tried to tell the others to quiet down
so they could get on with the work,
she was jeered into silence
and she never found it fair that her boyfriend did
the same thing and the noise stopped.)
4. Girls Shalt Have A Vagina.
(she introduced herself with a deep voice and a gushing smile.
she had a pink dress and an adam’s apple
she had a necklace resting above her cleavage
she had escaped from an all-boys high school
and I didn’t understand until I learned later
gender is more than the two rigid boxes
that we are told to tick one of)
5. Girls Shalt Smile.
(he frowned when the subject was brought up
and he shrugged a lot as he explained
that we look better when we smile. Less hostile.
His shrugs stiffened when I asked him why we shouldn’t look hostile.
‘I dunno,’ he said, dropping to a mumble. ‘Girls aren’t s’posed to look hostile, I guess.’
The next time someone walked past me on the street
and told me to smile,
I gave him my sunniest grin
and a middle finger.)
if someone is mean to you, don’t be mean back. talk to them, get to know them, be good friends, find out all the kinds of books/movies/tv series they love
then spoil it
This post boosts my faith in humanity, thankyou EMT <3
JENNIFER WAS LITERALLY REACTING TO NOTHING WHILE GOING UP THE TUBE INTO THE ARENA AFTER CINNA WAS KILLED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER, SHE WAS LITERALLY STANDING IN AN EMPTY ROOM WITH A GREEN SCREEN AND JUST POURING OUT HER EMOTIONS WHEN ALL SHE HAD TO LOOK AT WERE GREEN WALLS AND THE CEILING
TELL ME THIS ISN’T GREAT ACTING I DARE U